wookielabs

Intergalactic Creature Conspiracy!

Plot Earth Takeover!

Sources say that Wookie and Ewok leaders began seeking an allaince to conquer earth after a highly reputable oracle on Endor predicted that the earth would be sold to the dark side later this year by high profile corporations. The corporations would run out of markets and workers to exploit and be financially forced to begin selling human souls to the dark side by first quarter of the 2002 fiscal year. The unspecified corporations were only described as “selling syrup and fashion products” and “using such devices and Britney Spears, the Back Street Boys and Mentos commercials” by the oracle Wuldar Buldaba. The corporations would reportedly begin with selling the most valuable and easily captured souls, those of 10-14 year olds. The Wookie and Ewok leaders decided to take Earth matters in their own hands.

(Ewok leader Tiku Butu and Wookie leader Chlog Taka)

The earth has already been infiltrated by a task force of shapeshifting Ewoks maskerading as dogs. These Dogewoks are aggressively working their way towards controlling human life.

(Dogewok Prototype)

(Dogewok seen here training for operation "Earth Takeover")

The Dogewoks commonly single out little girls and elderly women as prey. The Dogewoks first conquer the hearts and minds of the elderly women and little girls, then instruct them to direct and manipulate their family members in agreement with Dogewok guidelines. By these methods, Dogewoks have been gaining control of key families in power positions.

(Captian Tufu seen here accepting awards for successfully deploying his squadron to Earth.)

Gareth Starnkowertz ,17 ,first alerted athorities last Wednesday after gathering evidence against his grandmother, Sofie Starnkowertz, 74, and her Dogewok, “Wolfie”, by planting a bug on "Wolfie". Gareth reported that his grandmother’s dog had convinced her to sabotage the work of Gareth’s father Abe Starnkowertz ,52 ,a high-level executive at Coca-Cola Co. Gareth became suspicious when Sofie Starnkowertz began stealing his father’s business documents and teleconferencing with other dogs and old ladies several times a day in secret.

("Wolfie" is being held by Police.)

(Police are also on the lookout for these two Dogewok suspects connected to "Wolfie". They are known here on Earth as "Dixie" and "Chompers")

International Authorities are busy uncovering the vast network of Dogewoks. Humans are advised to keep a sharp eye on little dogs and old ladies.

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